Yehliu- 野柳

When I got back Saturday night I had planned just to take the last day of vacation easy...sit around and watch some movies, maybe do a bit of hiking on that trail I had yet to climb, but a message from Tama changed that.  So I dutifully set my alarm clock and planned to meet the others (Tama, Tyler, Andrew) at Taipei Main.  Everything starts at Taipei Main.

Well, for me it starts at Xizhi.

While public transportation in Taipei is far superior to that back home, I hate getting to the station and seeing that I'll have to wait twenty minutes for the next 18-minute train to my destination.  But really, that's my own fault.  So the whole train ride I was pretty antsy because I was going to be late AND had no way of contacting anyone.  I get off, walk towards the main hall on the first floor and lo and behold see Andrew making his way through the crowds looking this way and that.  I get his attention and ask what the sitch is.  Apparently, Tama's sick and Tyler woke up late.  Hot damn...without a phone we could've literally wandered right past each other and I never would've known what the hell I was standing around for.  Serendipity is a marvelous thing.

I hop over to the info desk and ask the young lady which place she'd rather go, Wulai or Yehliu.  She looks nonplussed for a second and then tells me it's really a matter of preferences.  So I ask her which place is easier to get to.  Yehliu it is!

Andrew and I make are way on the bus and wait around for a bit.  Right as the bus pulls out Brian calls us, but he's still teaching anyway.  Out of our original group only the two of us made it.  Don't matter, we're going to rock the shit out of this geological park.

Worth mentioning about Andrew: I had met this Welsh gentleman at training and we talked a bit over the nine days, but never for any extended period of time.  He had impressed me as a soft-spoken gentleman, reserved, but ever ready with his sharp wit.  Well, hanging out with him for a day, I can say he's definitely easy-going, and I feel really comfortable in his company, just a really chill guy.  Our conversations ranged all over from teaching classes, our frustrations and triumphs with living in a foreign country, and on the walk back, a lot of history about the Chinese dynasties (this guy knows his shit) and the Byzantine empire (which I know almost nothing about).

Bus ride takes about an hour and a half.  Problem with going anywhere for the first time is you want to take in the view, but there's always that nagging suspicion in the back of your head- are we going the right way?  Oh shit, were we supposed to get off at the last stop?  I know the bus driver told us he'd let us know, but what if he forgets?  Or we don't hear?  ARE WE GOING THE RIGHT WAY?!

Well, we get into Yehliu alright and it's only a bit of a walk before we get to the entrance of the geological park.  There's a cool temple on the way, and near the entrance there's a tacky aquarium which didn't really merit a picture.  Maybe it's me being jaded, but when I see a mural of cartoony animals at a preschool I think, "Does this person really enjoy painting cutesy things, or did they suck it up and paint something tacky for a paycheck?"  I hope it's the former.  When you're young, you just see the surface- this is cute, or that's fun; the stories behind everything don't matter.  But it seems to be a hypocrisy of the worst kind to string along little kids, leading them in activities that bore the shit out of you, or offering them things you could care less about, even if they take great delight in them.  It's really hard for me to place a finger on why this is so depressing; once you start to understand the motivation behind everything the world darkens a little.  Set against the bright-eyed smiles of children, that contrast is all the more disheartening.

Enough with the existential musings.

Back in China a place like this would be a big deal, but you find temples ALL OVER in Taiwan.  I didn't even take a picture intricate wood work inside.

From the first impression of the park, I getting worried.  There are fiberglass models near the entrance specifically for tourists to take their pictures with, away from the big lines and clutter of people.  While I can appreciate the sentiment I absolutely hate this sort of contrived, touristy shit.  However, my fears are dispelled when we get through these mini displays:

The Mushroom Kingdom

Our ultimate goal

BAM, wasn't a waste of time to come here!  Having a clear view of the ocean always brings a smile to my face, and with our path laid clearly before us I start off at a jaunty pace down to where most of the other tourists are.

A guard taking a break from dealing with all the clowns

Ginger rocks

Other rocks

Giant turd rocks on the right.  That's actually what they call them on the official website.

Where's Wales again?

Can you see me?  Of course not, I blend in with all the other smartly dressed people.  Except I have a backpack, and I'm breaking the fourth wall.  Shit.

Many of the Mainlander tourists were really distracting me from what should’ve been (and what for the most part was) a carefree day by acting like fucking clowns.  The poor guards had to repeatedly shout at them when they stepped over the LARGE, CLEARLY MARKED RED LINE close to the cliff edge.  And we’re talking about blatantly crossing over, turning to pose for some picture, and then sheepishly stepping back when they were caught, like a kid with their hand in the cookie jar.  Except these were fifty-something year-old men.  What the fuck?!  Large groups of these retards would just stop right in the middle of the path, not even posing for a picture…or-or ANY CONCIEVEABLE REASON AT ALL.  Just walking around, climbing onto rocky paths they weren’t supposed to, talking in loud, obnoxious voices (and this is coming from the loudest, most obnoxious person ever).  It’d be understandable if their bullshit only pissed me off, like some karmic justice visited by the tourist gods, but I clearly saw other people around me with, “are you serious?” expressions on their faces.  And all these assholes were grandmas and grandpas, people who should’ve known better, for christsake the people you’d expect to be gracious and well-mannered BECAUSE of their age.  Fuck, it pisses me off just writing about their antics.  I can understand that you were young during a time when Communist ideology was still strong, when the spirit of the common worker was transmitted in such a way that common niceties were exchanged with coarse language and brutish habits.  I understand you’re proud of being a country person by birth (even though you’ve obviously succeeded in some way to afford your little guided package tour through Taiwan), and you want to show you know your roots, BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE, you think other people appreciate this?  Wait, don't answer that.

This guy died like a true badass.  In the 60's, before this place was a designated sight, a student on vacation went and fell into the water like a dumbass during a particularly rough day at sea.  Did Lin Tianzhen pretend not to see anything so he wouldn't get his muscles wet?  No, he leapt straight into the water to save the clumsy idiot.  Unfortunately both he and the student were lost to the waves.  Somewhere this man is headbutting dolphins in heaven.

I mentioned some of the more salient points above to Andrew and told him that Mainland Chinese tourists are universally reviled due to their loudness, rudeness, cheapness, penchant for haggling, inclination to litter...the list goes on, and he countered with the fact that the Americans are considered the best tourists, at least in Europe.  I always thought it was the Japanese, but apparently we’re friendly, polite, and good spenders.  I guess that’s true.  At the same time, maybe Americans like to put on a brave face because we're supposed to be the best.  And why would the best not be happy?  Not be content or confident?  I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong about this though.  I never feel particularly American until I leave the country, and then for some reason I get into this mindset that I’m representing the country of my birth, and I should do it well.  Probably because in China that’s exactly what I was doing, given there were about five Americans in the entire city.  Americans in Taiwan don’t exactly have the best reputation either.  Partly because they take advantage of drinking in public places (something I’m admittedly guilty of).  Daily...at all hours.  Maybe I'm trying to compensate for this stigma.  Never mind I saw two old Taiwanese guys stumbling into an alley arm across each other, piss drunk, in the middle of the fucking day.  Other people were staring, so that’s probably not common.  I hope.  That would be a wicked double-standard.  

Whoa, got off on a tangent there.  Basically, when I go to a tourist site, I keep in mind that the place wasn’t put there for just me.  It’s there for everybody, and if it’s an ecological site, it was really put there for no one.  

Hah, there's an idea. 

Our path wound its way up the sea cliff.  We climbed up past the rock formations to a point where we surrounded on both sides by tall grass.  At the top, the path became lost in the overgrowth and dead-ended at the fence.  Funny how people don't seem willing to forge ahead unless there's something tangible to reward their hard work.  For me, the view from the highest point of the ridge was enough enticement to get lost amidst the weeds:

Up at the highest point.  By ourselves, oddly.

Don't worry Mom and Dad, there was a fence.

We walked down towards the end of the ridge and I was for turning around.  Andrew had other thoughts:

Andrew: "Ok, but if those people in front of us come back saying they saw something awesome I'll hold you personally responsible.  Though I guess I wouldn't have any idea..."
Me: "Yeah."
Andrew: "-and you wouldn't translate out of embarrassment."
Me: "Yes I would.  In fact, I would wait until we were on the bus, and then tell you.  Out of spite.  OK OK, fine, let's go."

That's how I roll.

Good call on Andrew's part because the path led uphill to a sweet little pavilion that overlooked the cliff edge at the end of the cuesta.  

That cliff looks more imposing in person, trust me

 

In the pavilion there was a Qing dynasty one-way teleporter that sent us to arguably the most interesting part of Yehliu:

AND there's less people?!  Hell yeah!

There were a couple of dogs meandering at the top that you'll see again in a second.  I don't know why the crowds of people weren't here, because without all the walkways and the proximity to both the cliff side AND ocean this place kicked the shit out of Mushroom Kingdom, with its queen head rocks and little princess rocks and all that other gimmicky shit.  I mean, who wants to pay all that money for a guided tour so they can pull up to a place, walk along a boring designated route, and have your picture snapped with this-

Yep, totally took this picture.  The sky cleared up long enough to THIS IS NOT MY PICTURE

-when you can be the master of your own destiny?  Oh wait, all of these people:

Also not my picture.

What a waste of a day (or in some cases a trip) just for the sake of blowing your horn.  Oh hey, what's up.  I went to X place.  Want to see a picture of me next to Y famous thing?  Bam, right there.  Oh, what were my thoughts about the place?  I have no fucking idea since I spent just long enough to snap some photos of what I was told to and then leave.  And even if I could come up with some cohesive impression I'd be full of shit anyway.  I have a bunch of other trips planned, but these will be much simpler, they'll consist of me getting off the bus and alternatively planting a flag/pissing at the entrance and then going to the next location.  I'll have traveled to so many places after my next vacation!  EXCEPT YOU DIDN'T REALLY VISIT THEM IF YOU DON'T TAKE ANY FEELINGS OR MEMORIES BACK WITH YOU.

Well, not my vacation, you retards can do what you want.  Now that I've slow-rolled you long enough...

This swirling pattern, like the interplay of oil and water, was everywhere.

The first of three vertical gashes through the cliff.

Things only got cooler as we pushed forward.  While this terrain may have looked faintly terrestial, the stuff near the end was like something from an wuxia novel, the parts where they're in some heavenly scape:

If you've ever seen Chinese scroll paintings, then you know the distinctive way the clouds are sometimes drawn, especially in Taoist pieces.  Well, the latticework on the rocks reminded me of that.

These guys were climbing around like mountain goats.

MY BLOG HAS ORIGINAL PICTURES OF HEAVILY TRAVELED DESTINATIONS.  DON'T LEAVE.  I NEED THE ADVERTISEMENT MONEY.

I felt like a giant, walking past miniature calderas, fields of green pools, bending down to inspect pearls fused inside a ring of sandstone.

Green Destiny, the font of fate. 

A pearl in the rough (I'm going to make this into an inspiration poster and sell it for $$$$ (four $$$$ is a lot according to Yelp)

I can keep coming up with more nerdy sounding titles all day

The Fields of Reflection, Andrew doing some reflecting of his own.

The Caldera of Emerald Insight

Honestly by this time, as awesome as this shit was I was hungry and I could tell I was coming down with something the way my stomach throbbed intermittently.  But I wasn't done yet.

Past the Confluences of Fate

Over towards 24-Filial Piety Hill.  That's actually what it's called.  I didn't make that up.  Looks kind of like some Buddhist sites I've seen in the past.  Oh, don't believe me?  I think I kept this other photo handy...

That's right bitches.  This actually is my photo.  Referencing photos from one blog in another.  Wow, isn't that the height of conceit?  This is Longmen Grotto in Luoyang, China by the way.

Looks like a millstone.  Retired, just like the original millstone.

Watchya doin'?

On the bus ride back Andrew had to get off and make an emergency piss stop (hahaha, I said it), which left me to stick out the rest of the ride in a mildly feverish state.  By the time I was on the train back to Xizhi I was shivering and my head was threatening to split down the center.  I mean, I was manfully dealing with initial symptoms of the plague.  Yes.

I went home, took two ibuprofens and called it a day.  Thanks for joining me Andrew, it would've sucked going by myself.

Note: Maybe I sound bitter or angry to you in this post.  That itself doesn't bother me, but I don't want it to influence your decision to visit Yehliu.  This place kicks ass and I would be back in a heartbeat.  The whole time I couldn't wait to get closer to what lay in the distance.  I just like to rant on what pisses me off; it's what I'm best at.  The name of this blog is Jaded in Taiwan, if that gives any indication.  For most of the time I was smiling like a child here.  If you see pictures of this place and it looks boring to you you need someone to look inside your head.  With a gun.

To get to Yehliu: Go to the bus station at Taipei Main Station and find Station A (I think it was the West Station if I remember correctly).  Ask to board a bus going to Yehliu.  When you get on the bus, be sure to let the driver know you want to get off at Yehliu, otherwise he may not stop.  

Good layout of the whole place, we pretty much followed the red path everywhere.